Meant For Me
by Sailor Seraphim
Summary: Written for the 2003 Fall Moments of Rapture Contest. What happens when love and truth refuse to reconcile? What do you do when reality becomes your worst enemy? (21)


Title: Meant for Me (1/1)  
  
Author: Sailor Seraphim (slrsera @ aol.com)  
  
Archive:   
  
FanFiction.net :: http://fanfiction.net/profile.php?userid=39868  
  
Sweetly Sour :: http://www.sweetlysour.net  
  
All others please ask.  
  
Rating: R  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing or any of its related characters. If I did, the series would be chock-full of tasty shounen ai goodness. I do, however, own the situations which occur in this fic.  
  
Pairings: 2+1, 1x2x1, 1+R+1(?)  
  
Warnings: Angst. Lots of ANGST. Semi-POV. Jumping timeline and flashbacks. The main part of this fic is linear, the rest is all up for grabs. It's choppy and disjointed on purpose. Really. Oh... and... uhmm... *coughs*death*coughs*.  
  
Notes: Written for the Moments of Rapture Fall 2003 Contest, because I promised Sharon. ^^ This fic is also very heavily inspired by the song: "You Were Meant for Me" by Jewel. *points at title* I tried to make this sappy and beautiful and wonderful and romantic. I really tried. This is what happened. Please don't kill the messenger!  
  
Feedback: I take all constructive criticism. No flames, they leave nasty scorch marks on the carpet.  
  
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Violet eyes blinked in the darkness, gazing blearily around until they located the source of the disturbance of slumber.   
  
On the bedside table, the small alarm clock buzzed merrily, its glowing red numbers announcing to the world that it was just past six in the morning. Duo groaned, his hand reaching out to slap the alarm off.   
  
Heero always woke up before him to go to work.  
  
"Pro'lly forgot to turn it off again..." Duo mumbled into his pillow, rolling over to into the spot that his lover normally occupied. That side of the bed was ice cold, but Duo didn't care. He pressed his face into Heero's pillow, seeking the familiar scent of his lover, but couldn't find it either. Feeling somewhat disturbed, Duo smiled at his own silliness.  
  
Heero had decided to change his soap and shampoo. Of course it didn't smell the same.   
  
Duo shut his eyes, clutching the pillow to his chest as he fell asleep again.  
  
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Duo yawned, scratching his leg through his pyjama bottoms as he stumbled into the kitchen to cook breakfast. Loki was already there, the pitch-black cat perched on the counter and awaiting the arrival of one of his humans. The American adored their pet, and was pretty sure Heero didn't mind the stray either. After all, he wouldn't have allowed Loki to stay if he didn't like him. Duo patted Loki's head as he pulled up the refrigerator, his eyes going to the empty food dish and the low amount of water.  
  
"Was Heero too much in a hurry to feed you this morning? Always in a rush, that guy..." the American chuckled to himself, then decided to spoil the cat by pouring some milk into his bowl. For himself, Duo made a customary breakfast of eggs and pancakes. He even broke the yolks to make a silly smiling face on his plate. He looked around the kitchen idly, only Loki's eager lapping of the milk disturbing his thoughts.  
  
He really should wake up earlier one of these days, to make Heero a proper breakfast. Or maybe learn to make on of those traditional Japanese breakfasts... the ones Heero liked to get when they went on that vacation to Japan last year. Though, how anyone could have fish and rice in the morning boggled Duo.  
  
"You'd like it, wouldn't you, Loki?" Duo asked when the cat rubbed against his ankle. "Yeah... maybe I'll pick up a cookbook today. Heero would be really surprised."  
  
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Duo huffed as he carried a basket of laundry into the apartment, making sure to shut the door firmly so Loki couldn't run out into the hall. For some reason, the load seemed smaller than usual. Pairs of jeans and shirts, all mixed up with towels and socks and underwear and sheets. The American chuckled to himself... why should he be worrying about having less work to do?  
  
He made his way through the living room to the bedroom; nudging Loki with one foot when the cat decided that being directly in Duo's path was the best place for a nap.   
  
"Come on, lazybones... move..."  
  
A violet gaze drifted to the living room wall, where a hole in the plaster remained. He didn't know it got there. He didn't remember it being there. It wasn't supposed to be there.  
  
Duo stepped over Loki quickly, and entered the bedroom. He dumped the basket out over the bed, and then reached down, picking up a familiar gray shirt.   
  
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"Holy shit! I am not hearing this! I am just NOT hearing this!"  
  
Duo glared at his lover from the open bedroom door, his Preventers shirt still un-tucked and tie hanging around his neck.  
  
Heero had the decency to look contrite, but stood with his bags in the living room. He wasn't in his matching uniform -- instead, clad in a pair of slacks and a nice button-down shirt. The American recognized the shirt. He'd given it to Heero for his birthday. "Duo, you have to listen to me--"  
  
"No!" Duo almost screamed, his hands reaching out blindly for his jacket and keys. "I don't have to listen to a goddamn thing! You knew! You knew that you were leaving. You made your decision already. You KNEW for a WEEK and NOW you tell me?!"  
  
"Duo, stop being dramatic!"  
  
"Dramatic?!" Stormy violet eyes pinned the Japanese man to the spot. "I'm being DRAMATIC? Well, fuck that, Mr. Inconsiderate, I'm not listening to you. I have to go to work! You wanna talk to me, you can find me there!"  
  
"But I'm not--"  
  
Duo slammed the front door on the way out, scaring Loki into hiding under the refrigerator for the rest of the day.  
  
Heero stared blankly at the wood of the front door, and then punched his fist through the living room wall. "Fuck."  
  
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Duo looked down at the crumpled shirt in his hands and shook his head. Weird. His hands shook a bit as he laid the shirt out, reminding himself that he had to hang it up before it wrinkled more.  
  
Heero hated it when his shirts were wrinkled.  
  
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The phone rang again sometime later, but Duo was too busy to pick it up, so he ignored it. Loki had decided to unroll the toilet paper all over the apartment again, and Duo had to clean it up. Heero hated coming home with the place a wreck.   
  
"You evil cat! I'll make you into a violin for Quatre, I swear!"  
  
A quick glance at the caller ID as he chased Loki into the kitchen told him that it was Une who had phoned. Duo decided that if it were all that important, she would call again. He could still remember the last conversation they had had.  
  
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"No."  
  
Hazel eyes looked up at Duo from behind a manila folder. "What was that, Agent Maxwell?"  
  
"I said, 'no'," Duo repeated, crossing his arms over his crisp Preventers uniform.   
  
"But the protection of Vice Foreign Minister Darlian--"  
  
"-- is already covered by her own security detail," Duo cut in impatiently. "I don't see why you'd be assigning me to bodyguard duty. I have other cases that I'm working on. And anyway, Mr. Perfect will be there."  
  
Une raised one narrow brow, the manila folder dropping to the desk as her face took a more sympathetic expression. "Maxwell... Duo... don't you at least want to see him?"  
  
He shook his head so vigorously that his braid lashed from side to side like the tail of an angry cat. "I don't want to have this conversation. Now if you don't mind, Lady, I have a report to file."  
  
The Head of the Preventers could do nothing but watch as the hurt young man stormed from her office. But at least he hadn't slammed the door.  
  
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After managing to finish the laundry and cleaning up the huge mess Loki had made, Duo had managed to sprint out of the apartment, leaving just enough time to visit Quatre. It was a regular thing, since Quatre did business in the city.   
  
The Arabian had been out at a business meeting when Duo arrived, flushed and panting, so Duo went to their regular cafe to wait. The waitress there nodded to him as he entered the cheery interior. Duo wondered what it meant... that he visited a place so often that he didn't even need to order to get something. The waitress placed a cup of coffee in front of him, with sugar and cream and Duo nodded politely. She also left a newspaper.  
  
By the time Quatre appeared, Duo's coffee was ice cold, but he was still cradling his hands around the porcelain, staring into the swirls of cream in the dark beverage. Aquamarine eyes flicked to the newspaper crumpled at the end of the booth.  
  
"Duo?"  
  
The American looked up, smiling for his friend. "Oh hey, Quatre. Took ya long enough."  
  
The blond just took a seat, the waitress having already appeared to give him his regular order. "Yes, I'm sorry about that. I got here as quickly as I could though." His eyes flickered to the newspaper again. "Is there anything wrong?"  
  
Duo chuckled, stirring his spoon. "Why would you ask something like that? Everything is fine."  
  
"Oh... so you're settling into the apartment well? I meant to come visit..."  
  
"Aww, Quatre! I don't need a babysitter! Me and Loki do just fine. And anyway, Heero will come back later and--"  
  
"Duo."  
  
Duo's gaze had drifted out the cafe's window, looking out at the gray clouds hanging thickly in the sky. "Hey, it's sorta rude to interrupt a person, Q. You're not the CEO of the world."  
  
"But Duo--"  
  
"Awww man, look at the time. My coffee is all cold. I'll catch you later, okay?"  
  
Quatre had a distinctly upset expression on his face, but Duo ignored it as he stood and tossed down a few bills to cover his order. The blond always got a bit cranky when their bonding time was cut short. But... things were busy, weren't they?   
  
"What are you going to do, Duo?"  
  
Duo blinked, then smiled a bit, looking over his shoulder at Quatre. "Grocery shopping. I wanna cook something special. And Loki's getting low on food, you know, and he's so damn fussy. Almost as bad as Heero."  
  
Aquamarine eyes focused on Duo's back as he sauntered out of the cafe, then dropped to the crumpled newspaper again, catching sight of the picture on the front page. Two familiar faces looked back at him. Heart feeling tight in his chest, Quatre paid off the rest of the tab, not even touching his steaming drink.  
  
"Oh Duo... why can't you accept it?"  
  
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Duo looked out the window.   
  
It was raining. Duo didn't like the rain much, but he didn't feel like staying indoors. He'd put away the groceries and pampered Loki buy putting extra treats in his bowl. And a new catnip mouse to play with. But still, Duo felt restless... edgy somehow. The talk with Quatre earlier had... unsettled him. He couldn't quite place his finger on the cause though. His eyes dropped on a corner of a forgotten newspaper, where an advertisement for a movie was printed.  
  
"A movie. I haven't been to a movie in a long time. Not since that one me and Heero saw..."  
  
Making his decision, the young man grabbed his coat and cap, pulling them on as he stepped out of his apartment.  
  
"Watch the place for me and Heero, Loki!"  
  
He remembered to lock the door.  
  
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"I love you."  
  
A nose poked Duo in the neck and a soft kiss was pressed against his shoulder, just above the collar. "I know."  
  
The violet-eyed man chuckled. He twined his arms further around Heero's shoulders, silently cursing the small piece of plastic masquerading as an armrest between them.   
  
"Look at us, Heero... making out like a couple of teenagers in a dark movie theatre."  
  
"I thought we *were* a couple of teenagers in a dark movie theatre?"  
  
Duo hummed thoughtfully, then resisted the urge to squeal as he felt a cold hand dip under the edge of his shirt.  
  
"You're right. Keep going then," he murmured huskily into Heero's ear, enjoying the tremor that ran over his lover's body with the words.  
  
If anything, Heero took orders well.  
  
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The movie sucked.  
  
Duo decided that he was disappointed with it.  
  
He walked down the streets, still teeming with people even though it was nearly raining cats and dogs. Duo felt wetness on his face and pulled his cap more tightly over his head, and his coat collar up. No one noticed him. Duo sniffled, rubbing at his face as he melted into the crowd, heading for his apartment.   
  
Damn... he really hated the rain.  
  
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"What are you doing? Duo! Shut that window, it's freezing!"  
  
Duo just looked up from the window seat, where he was cradling a now cold mug of cocoa in his hands. "I'm just watching the rain."  
  
Heero frowned. He hated obtuse answers like that.  
  
"Can't you watch it with the window closed? Look at you, you're soaked." The American didn't notice, just stared out the window as his lover came closer, muttering under his breath. "You're going to get sick."  
  
Looking up from beneath damp bangs, Duo smiled. "I never get sick. Come on and watch the rain with me. I love it."  
  
Rolling his eyes, Heero stepped even closer, close enough for a dripping Duo to grab him and pull him down for a sweet kiss. Duo licked his lips afterwards. Heero tasted like coffee and that new Irish creamer they had bought the other day. "Watch the rain with me?"  
  
Heero grumbled, but sat on the window seat as well, wrapping his arms around Duo. Leaning into the warm embrace, Duo sighed in content.   
  
The rain continued to fall outside.  
  
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Duo puttered about the kitchen, ignoring Loki's plaintive begging for scraps. He wrapped a plate of dinner carefully with plastic and set it in the refrigerator. Heero still wasn't home, and when he worked late he usually came home grumpy and starving. His lover would miss meals if it weren't for Duo distracting him from what he was doing. And while something nuked in the microwave wasn't as good as hot off the stove, it was better than nothing.  
  
He cleaned up his own dishes, setting them in the rack to dry. It was sad, but Duo was quite used to eating his meals alone. His and Heero's hours were so different... but still, they always made time to be with each other when they could.   
  
His lips quirked up into a smile again. Heero Yuy could be an unmitigated bastard a whole lot of the time, but he was also the sweetest man on the face of the planet once you got through his prickly shell.   
  
And Duo was so glad that he was the one closest to Heero's heart.  
  
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It was turning out to be one of the worst days on the face of the planet.  
  
Reports filed and re-filed. His temper had been so bad that he'd been snapping at the interns and other Agents. Well, it wasn't his fault, now was it? Doing stupid bureaucratic paperwork would make even saints spit nails. He scowled at the papers in his hands, glaring at the line notes and questions written in Une's precise hand. As he compared his files to what was showing on his computer screen, the phone rang.  
  
Irritated beyond belief, Duo put his phone in a stranglehold, and barked into it. "Preventers Offices! Maxwell here!"  
  
"Duo?"  
  
The American's temper waned, then frayed, at the sound of the familiar and cherished voice. "Heero?"  
  
There was a soft sound in the background; noises that sounded like a mix of voices and traffic. "Yes. Duo... I didn't mean to make you angry--"  
  
"Don't you have something better to do than bother me at work?" Duo snapped out, still feeling pain at the morning's confrontation.  
  
There was a slight pause and Duo knew that Heero was searching his vocabulary. "There's nothing more important to me than calling to make up with you."  
  
His heart melted in his chest. Duo's hold on the receiver softened and he lowered his voice, trembling and unsure. "You mean that?"  
  
"Of course I do. I... thought it would be better not to worry you."  
  
"I would worry less if you told me these things up front," Duo retorted, unable to keep the sting from his words.  
  
Heero sighed softly and Duo felt his heart speed up. "I realize that now. I'm sorry. I'm coming home tonight. It'll be late, but..."  
  
"Tonight?" Violet eyes glanced at a folded newspaper to read the date. "But I thought this thing lasted a few more days?"  
  
"It does, but I'm coming home tonight. I told her that I had to." Heero's voice went low, like a whisper over Duo's skin. "You're more important to me than anything else. Even this damn job."  
  
He shivered then, tilting his head forward so that his braid slid over his shoulder to thump comfortingly against his chest. "I love you, Heero."  
  
"I love you, too."  
  
Duo dropped his voice into a throaty whisper and purred out: "Tonight?"  
  
"God, yes... tonight," Heero groaned. Then he caught his breath and Duo had to struggle to keep from laughing. "You tease. I'm in a car full of people. You know what that does to me."  
  
"That's why I did it, lover," Duo purred again, pleased to hear Heero's muttered curse. "Okay, okay... I'll stop. I'll see you tonight."  
  
Heero only growled something unintelligible before the buzz of disconnection sounded through the receiver. Duo beamed as he placed the phone back on the cradle. His cast his eyes at the clock.   
  
Only a few hours until Heero came home.  
  
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Duo brushed his teeth carefully.  
  
He had been puttering around the apartment after the movie, feeling cold and lonely, and even the television hadn't helped him. Duo had salvaged and patched the ancient thing up, much to his lover's amusement. But lately it had been on the fritz; it wasn't in tune or turned on and off by itself. Duo had been surprised the first time it had happened, entering the living room after a nap with the television blaring some sort of show.   
  
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Duo had come home early, eagerly anticipating the return of his lover. That call really had been just the thing he needed, turning his mood completely with a few words. In fact, his mood swing had been so pronounced that Une had merely given him a long-suffering sigh, and ordered him to go home early. The American had nearly kissed the woman, he was so happy.  
  
He had come home, throwing his tie and jacket over an armchair and dodging Loki's attempt to chew on the laces of his shoes. He was in the process of unbuttoning his shirt when he turned on the television, hoping to catch some sort of sports game or mind numbing soap opera. What he got was a special news report. It was their faces plastered all over the screen, her flaxen hair blowing in the breeze as she turned to speak to a reporter. And at her side... no, he actually had his arm out for her, her pale hand resting on the dark material of his suit. Duo admired the way Heero looked in the suit. It was a new one, worn to one of the fancy parties Quatre threw every so often. Duo's matching suit was hanging in the closet in a protective wrapper.   
  
His lover's tousled hair shone darkly under the sunshine and he looked magnificent. The sunglasses fell from his lover's face and Duo was mesmerized by the intense blue of Heero's gaze, the shouts of the reporters falling on deaf ears. Blond hair tangled with chocolate brown, and the reporters continued to scream and the angle of the shot jumped and wavered and the remote started to dig into the skin of Duo's hand...  
  
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The remote had even been laying against the far wall of the living room, when it was usually on the coffee table or couch. Duo had blamed Loki for that, but the television was still broken.  
  
Maybe one day he'd get around to fixing it.  
  
Holding his braid out of the way, Duo spit into the sink and rinsed his mouth of the artificial mint flavor. He splashed water on his face and avoided his reflection, instead reaching for the towel.  
  
Duo remembered to shut off the light in the bathroom. Heero hated it when he left it on at night.  
  
Besides, with Heero to hold him at night, he didn't need anything else to keep the nightmares away.  
  
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Duo flipped another page in the book he was reading, looking at the red numbers on the clock before he placed a bookmark between the worn and dog-eared pages. He hadn't heard the door open or Heero come in, and was getting worried. Amaryllis eyes looked at the bedroom door, as if staring would make Heero magically appear before him.   
  
Then Duo laughed to himself again, sliding down in bed and snapping the light off.  
  
"Heero's probably just working late again."  
  
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Duo lay in bed, staring at the shadows that danced on the walls. They captivated him, made him want to reach out and touch, to make sure they were just shadows and not any lingering ghosts. Closing his eyes, he pulled Heero's pillow close to his chest. The object was a poor substitute for warm arms and a strong heartbeat, but Duo wasn't worried. He knew that Heero would sneak in, as quiet as a shade, and hold him through the night.  
  
Heero always did.  
  
Duo decided that he shouldn't think anymore.  
  
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The television in the living room droned on with a late night news program, its glow illuminating the darkened apartment. But, besides Loki -- who turned his nose up at the annoying thing -- it was ignored. Loki left the living room, his paws stepping almost delicately on the crumpled newspaper on the floor, the headline unnoticed and unappreciated by him.  
  
'VICE FOREIGN MINISTER SHOT'  
  
Loki mewled, hearing a mouse and pounced away, scattering more newspaper over the floor.  
  
'Bodyguard Killed. Suspects Unknown.'  
  
-- owari -- 


End file.
